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Sunday, March 20, 2011 STOP. DROP. KABOOM. baby rub on yo nipples… Today I contracted the Black Plague. I put Holidae Inn on repeat just because I like shouting the above verse while stuffed up because I think it makes it sound funny… But I stayed in bed most of the day, but took a little bit of time off from doing nothing to make a demotivational poster. I was feeling a tad bitter, you know with the sickness and being busted and given my ‘second warning’ by The Zohan last night… (My first was given to me when I once unsuspectingly answered the door [for Zohan] and a toilet paper roll that had been stuck in the door to prevent it from locking dropped to the floor. Apparently this is a big violation, and I am a terrific actress who wouldn’t get off easy for feigning surprise when I saw it). And of course after I was shouted at for being a delinquent, I entered my flat to see a traffic cone and a couple of street signs piled up against one of my flat mate’s doors… obviously I truly am the bad seed of the room (I can’t even pretend to be bitter about that though; I thought it was awesome!) But yeah, I haven’t really shown this creation of mine to anybody yet. This would put me on the fast track to getting shot, shanked, or boomeranged. I’m just saying, my nose has feelings too. And the fact that all of the offenders that this poster was made for like to pile on and overcrowd all of the Translink buses that I have to ride too just makes it worse. C’mon, y’all. With just one stick of this roll-on magic, you can help make this world a better place :)
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Sunday, March 20, 2011

STOP. DROP. KABOOM.

baby rub on yo nipples…

Today I contracted the Black Plague. I put Holidae Inn on repeat just because I like shouting the above verse while stuffed up because I think it makes it sound funny…

But I stayed in bed most of the day, but took a little bit of time off from doing nothing to make a demotivational poster. I was feeling a tad bitter, you know with the sickness and being busted and given my ‘second warning’ by The Zohan last night… (My first was given to me when I once unsuspectingly answered the door [for Zohan] and a toilet paper roll that had been stuck in the door to prevent it from locking dropped to the floor. Apparently this is a big violation, and I am a terrific actress who wouldn’t get off easy for feigning surprise when I saw it). And of course after I was shouted at for being a delinquent, I entered my flat to see a traffic cone and a couple of street signs piled up against one of my flat mate’s doors… obviously I truly am the bad seed of the room (I can’t even pretend to be bitter about that though; I thought it was awesome!)

But yeah, I haven’t really shown this creation of mine to anybody yet. This would put me on the fast track to getting shot, shanked, or boomeranged. I’m just saying, my nose has feelings too. And the fact that all of the offenders that this poster was made for like to pile on and overcrowd all of the Translink buses that I have to ride too just makes it worse. C’mon, y’all. With just one stick of this roll-on magic, you can help make this world a better place :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011 Second day of class! And as I sat on my first bus, staring at the sign pictured above, I wondered to myself, “Are bus operators really now equipped with DNA Kits to assist with the apprehension of spitters? Like, if I have this 9 on the Richter scale type sneeze and a little spittle gets on the floor, will the bus driver notice later in the day, stop the bus, whip out his handy dandy DNA kit, then get me deported???” There are so many risks I need to worry about… I actually had a couple of classes that I really had to go to today, my first being my field trip class. It seemed pretty legit, mostly because all we did today was talk about the field trips. My second class was math (the class that gave me hell yesterday with all of it’s non-classes). It gave me even more hell today because within 5 minutes of sitting through the lecture I noticed I had already taken this math and needed to reschedule.  -_- Back at the village, today was Day 2 of assassins, and I was already behind. Brytes and England (a guy who is from England but I think grew up in Australia?) already killed about 4 people, despite the fact that England had already killed Brytes, brought her back from the dead, and now in this purgatorial state they were double teaming all of their next kills. This is some ole bullshit… And I had no idea who this next kid I had to kill even was. I tried facebook stalking, but his name was way too common. I tried asking around, but no one knew he was. I went downstairs to the courtyard where a lot of people were BBQ’ing and playing guitars to see if I could catch him walking into one of the buildings (I had a couple false alarms) and thought my prayers had been answered! Someone walked by and killed England! Brytes was standing behind the grill trying to fend the killer off with a fork because she was next, but she wouldn’t last long. I argue with their killer on a daily basis. He’s a sneaky little bastard. But all good things must come to an end. The guy who killed England decided he didn’t want to play anymore and gave England his life back, now meaning that no one could kill them while they went on a massive killing spree. This isn’t even some bullshit anymore. This is straight WHALE shit! I was running out of hope on finding my target when by miracle someone asked who I was supposed to kill next, and when I showed them my card he said, “Why I know him. He lives in room ###. Want me to take you up there?” Me: http://pinklesweet.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/spongebob-squarepants-p353.jpg And yes, kids. I was led up to target #2’s room, hid behind the wall as my friend knocked on the door, and the moment I heard him say, “Oh, hello ‘target’s name’” I popped from behind the wall and pegged him. The moment would’ve been more glorious if my target actually knew he was playing. It would’ve been even more glorious than that if he had a new target card to give me. This was only a minor speed bump in my road to total village assassination…
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3mm

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Second day of class!

And as I sat on my first bus, staring at the sign pictured above, I wondered to myself, “Are bus operators really now equipped with DNA Kits to assist with the apprehension of spitters? Like, if I have this 9 on the Richter scale type sneeze and a little spittle gets on the floor, will the bus driver notice later in the day, stop the bus, whip out his handy dandy DNA kit, then get me deported???”

There are so many risks I need to worry about…

I actually had a couple of classes that I really had to go to today, my first being my field trip class. It seemed pretty legit, mostly because all we did today was talk about the field trips. My second class was math (the class that gave me hell yesterday with all of it’s non-classes). It gave me even more hell today because within 5 minutes of sitting through the lecture I noticed I had already taken this math and needed to reschedule. 

-_-

Back at the village, today was Day 2 of assassins, and I was already behind. Brytes and England (a guy who is from England but I think grew up in Australia?) already killed about 4 people, despite the fact that England had already killed Brytes, brought her back from the dead, and now in this purgatorial state they were double teaming all of their next kills. This is some ole bullshit…

And I had no idea who this next kid I had to kill even was. I tried facebook stalking, but his name was way too common. I tried asking around, but no one knew he was. I went downstairs to the courtyard where a lot of people were BBQ’ing and playing guitars to see if I could catch him walking into one of the buildings (I had a couple false alarms) and thought my prayers had been answered! Someone walked by and killed England! Brytes was standing behind the grill trying to fend the killer off with a fork because she was next, but she wouldn’t last long. I argue with their killer on a daily basis. He’s a sneaky little bastard.

But all good things must come to an end. The guy who killed England decided he didn’t want to play anymore and gave England his life back, now meaning that no one could kill them while they went on a massive killing spree. This isn’t even some bullshit anymore. This is straight WHALE shit!

I was running out of hope on finding my target when by miracle someone asked who I was supposed to kill next, and when I showed them my card he said, “Why I know him. He lives in room ###. Want me to take you up there?”

Me: http://pinklesweet.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/spongebob-squarepants-p353.jpg

And yes, kids. I was led up to target #2’s room, hid behind the wall as my friend knocked on the door, and the moment I heard him say, “Oh, hello ‘target’s name’” I popped from behind the wall and pegged him. The moment would’ve been more glorious if my target actually knew he was playing. It would’ve been even more glorious than that if he had a new target card to give me. This was only a minor speed bump in my road to total village assassination…

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